Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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