Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
