can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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