he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
