She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize