She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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