too bad you live with your parents still
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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