I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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