okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
