you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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