I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
