whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Buhtt sex?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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