The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
These tits shall not be calmed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
