if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
