yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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