I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize