using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
