He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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