Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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