you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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