I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
