Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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