Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
