Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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