I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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