All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
