the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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