Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
