Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
