I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
