Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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