You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
