Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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