Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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