I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
