it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
