true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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