so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
