you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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