marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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