We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
