I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
