I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
