First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize