i barfeds in our rink
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
This toilet bowl is my home.
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