Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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