doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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