I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
