you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
