I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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