win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
