He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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