she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
