He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
