ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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