Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so let's talk penis.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
