So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
