I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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