I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize