Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
