I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
